Femme

Femme is a term that describes a queer individual with a traditionally feminine gender expression. This is not typically expressed the way gender femininity is defined by societal norms, instead this is a deliberate subversion, exaggeration and rejection of patriarchal femininity. The term is primarily used among sapphic women, but it can also be used by genderqueer and non-binary individuals, and has connections to queer men as well.

It can be considered a form of gender expression and some use it as a gender identity on its own. For gender expression, this may involve having long hair, wearing clothing designed for women, having feminine facial or body features, wearing makeup, having a feminine demeanor, or speaking with feminine mannerisms.

Being a femme woman is often mistaken as gender conformity, however femme queerness is still a form of gender non-conformity.

History & Coining[]

The term originated in the working-class lesbian community during the mid 20th-century as a way to describe feminine lesbians who dated butch lesbians. It has since evolved into a more expansive label for queer individuals who present in a feminine way.

Many have argued that the butch-femme relationships at the time were attempts to mimic straight relationships, but the butch-femme dynamic was often visibly queer. Others now describe it as a political act.

In the 1970s and 1980s, radical feminists claimed that the butch-femme relationship was oppressive and that one couldn't be feminine while in a relationship with a butch woman. During this time, femininity in lesbian culture wasn't simply a look, it was a political statement.

Eventually, the butch-femme relationship stopped being the only way that femme identities could be expressed, and it began existing separately from its butch counterpart.

Flags & Symbols[]

The most common femme flag was designed by Tumblr user noodle. The colors were chosen from the pinks and reds of the lesbian flag, as well as to match the oranges of the butch flag.

Another femme flag was created by Tumblr user isobug, by the request of an anonymous user. The hot pink represents aggressive and bold femininity, the bubblegum pink represents soft and gentle femininity, the white represents kindness and transgender or non-binary individauls, the red represents activism and power, and the brown represents individuals of color.

Isobug made another set of femme flags called the "Lily Femme" flags. The flag took inspiration from their previous femme flag, the genderqueer and the gender non-conforming flag. The lily was chosen as a symbol to represent femininity and admiration.

Another femme flag was made by Tumblr user disastergay. The red represents inner strength, the orange represents subverting traditional depictions of femininity, the pink represents community and the love of other femmes, the magenta represents femininity for oneself and the genders one is attracted to, and the purple stripe represents solidarity with butches.

The Black Femme flag was created by Reddit user SashaFierce101 on the r/lgbt subreddit. The dark brown represents black joy, the brown represents culture, the lighter brown represents heritage, the light red represents resilience, the pinkish-red represents femininity, the maroon stripe represents freedom, and the dark red stripe represents intersectionality.

The femme symbol was designed by DeviantArt user Cari-Rex-Lobo on October 13, 2014.

Modifiers[]

> Hard Femme, unknown coining date

> High Femme, unknown coining date

> Stone Femme, June 6, 2021

Etymology[]

There is no known meaning behind the same, but it is believed to come from the French word femme, which means "woman," from the Old French feme or from Latin femina.